


hold your own

by klaviergavout



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/F, First Kiss, Fluff, Love Confessions, bismuth is gentle always, takes place immediately after bismuth casual, these two are MEGA GAY
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-03
Updated: 2020-04-03
Packaged: 2021-03-01 08:00:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23468038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/klaviergavout/pseuds/klaviergavout
Summary: Bismuth drives them all home that night - or at least, she tries to, but Pearl is far too distracting. It's hard not to tell her how she really feels.
Relationships: Bismuth & Pearl (Steven Universe), Bismuth/Pearl (Steven Universe)
Comments: 14
Kudos: 87





	hold your own

They're driving back from the roller rink after a successful evening of skating and making new friends. Steven and Connie are exhausted, drifting off to sleep with their hands intertwined, so Bismuth is at the wheel. She's taking the drive as steady as she possibly can, trying to remember how to work a gear shift and when exactly she needs to accelerate, but her limited driving experience doesn't stop her from glancing over at Pearl every now and then. 

Bismuth has admired Pearl ever since their days in the rebellion, fighting alongside each other in the name of Rose Quartz with unmatched strength and skill. She's made Pearl a countless number of swords in the time that they've known each other, which has honed her smithing to the best it's ever been. She's held Pearl while she cried, spun her around in fits of joy, celebrated milestone after milestone. But these past few weeks have shown Bismuth a different side of the fearsome renegade she once knew.

She has to hand it to Steven; Pearl has come on leaps and bounds from the dependence she showed towards Rose. Of course Pearl loved her - how could she not? Everyone loved Rose Quartz, and for Pearl, there was something even more tantalising about the secret she kept. But Rose's eventual absence hit Pearl harder than any of them, and from then on, she was a husk of the warrior she used to be. Desperate for the attention, the affection Rose showered her in. Trapped in the clutches of wanting _more._

Now when Bismuth looks at her, dowsed in muted moonlight that streams in through the rolled-down windows, she sees a different kind of warrior. Bruised not from battling with Homeworld Gems, but from fighting her own demons every day. Scarred not from daggers or swords, but from pointed memories that cut her down at every twist and turn. To Bismuth, Pearl has always been delicate - with her thin, nimble form, her graceful movements, her poise and politeness. But Bismuth knows now that Pearl can handle her own, whether that means sparring with other Gems atop the darkest, bloodiest battlefields or socialising with humans on the roller rink's smooth, glossy surface.

It sends chills right through her when she thinks of the power held in those tiny, svelte hands.

"Bismuth?" She's stirred out of her reverie by the Gem in question, and oh my _stars_ , Pearl's voice is beautiful. It cuts through the silence like a fine, sharp blade and Bismuth wishes she could meld that sound right into her heart. "Is everything alright?"

"Mhm," Bismuth replies, not sure she can emphasise the crushing ache she feels in words, hoping Pearl won't notice the growing blush on her face.

"Well, you've taken us in completely the wrong direction."

Bismuth looks up from the steering wheel and lets out a strangled gasp when she sees nothing but sand; her foot is on the pedal in an instant, slowing the car to a halt. A frantic scan of the surroundings yields nothing but shame when her eyes fall upon the distant head of the temple, peeking just out of view from beyond a hill. Her brain must have gone on autopilot once they hit the beach strip, because she's driven them much too far along the coast. "Aw, Pearl, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to get us lost--"

Bismuth's throat all but gives in when she feels Pearl's hand rest gently on her arm. "Don't worry about it, I know the way back home." Pearl ghosts her fingers across the skin just under her cuffed sleeves, the sleeves she rolled up just hours prior, and Bismuth is finding it increasingly hard to breathe. To make matters even worse, Pearl takes one more look at Bismuth's face and giggles behind the back of her hand, a light, airy tone that makes Bismuth burn harder than even the fiercest pool of lava in her workshop. The things she would do for her... the things she would do _to_ her.

"You're blushing," says Pearl, reaching to cup her cheek and Bismuth is trembling. 

"It's just the heat." 

"Are you sure? The windows are down. You might have a fever." Bismuth is about to interject that _Gems can't get fevers_ when she feels the back of Pearl's hand flush against her forehead and shuts up immediately. "Oh, Bismuth, you're sweating! Are you sick? Was the skating too much? Have you had enough rest--"

"I'm _fine._ " 

Pearl recoils slightly at Bismuth's admission, looking anywhere but into her eyes, and the blacksmith feels a pang of guilt in her stomach. Bismuth doesn't mean to be short with her, it's just that after having such a wonderful evening with her close-friend-turned-burning-crush, being touched like this is steadily pushing her over the edge. She swore to herself she'd never ruin the friendship they'd built for thousands of years - but it's the hardest of tasks when Pearl is so close to her, fingers drifting inches away from her bare skin. They're rarely ever in such tight proximity, and Bismuth is thankful to the other two passengers for giving her that chance the moment they fell asleep in the backseat.

"Bismuth," Pearl asks quietly, and she's looking back up now, cerulean eyes locked on her own. "You did have a good time with me, right?"

"What? Of course I did!" The words slip out of her harsher than she intended them to, and Pearl cringes at the volume. Bismuth almost regrets it until she sees Pearl take a deep, unsteady breath in, as if she's preparing herself for something - and then everything comes out of her all at once, raw and unfiltered and completely unlike her.

"I couldn't help noticing how happy you were around my friends, I was so glad you got to meet them finally, you all mean so much to me and I just wanted you to get along, which you did! And that's great! But you kept twirling me around and skating alongside me, and you got disheartened when I left to talk to the others, and then you sang my favourite song which _somehow_ you remembered after only hearing it once, and then Sour Cream dedicated it to you and I which made me feel like the happiest Gem on Earth, you even _held my hand_ , you made me feel so special, like-- like you were there just for me, like you didn't want to be around anyone else. But now we're on our way home and it's all over and I'll never get those moments back again." 

Pearl gives a huge, shuddering sigh, completely deflated. She doesn't bother to wipe the tears that are gathering in the corners of her eyes.

"I don't know what I expected to happen tonight, but the moment we finally get some time alone, you just-- you just go so quiet. I don't know what went wrong. Is it me? Did I make things awkward between us? I'm sorry."

Whatever wall Bismuth had built over the years in an attempt to preserve their friendship breaks down in an instant. With one hand she reaches for Pearl's and intwines their fingers together; with the other, she wipes at Pearl's misty eyes. "Don't you ever blame yourself, you silly, silly, _beautiful_ Gem." 

Their foreheads touch, gemstones glowing softly in the darkness and Pearl chokes back a sob, hand resting on Bismuth's chest. "I'm not so beautiful."

"You're incredible," whispers Bismuth, leaning in to gently close the gap between them. At first the kiss is nothing but the gentle press of Bismuth's mouth to hers, expressing better than words everything she's waited thousands of years to tell her. But then suddenly something in Pearl _caves_ and she parts her lips with a curved arch of her back, allowing the other Gem to press further. Bismuth gladly does so, kisses her deeply and Pearl whines beneath her grasp, fingers clutching onto her shirt for dear life and it does something inconceivable to her brain. She gives a low moan and threads a hand through Pearl's hair, grasping tight onto salmon pink strands.

After what feels like another few millennia Bismuth feels a light, open-palmed tap on her chest; Pearl's way of saying stop. She does so, taking a few seconds to appreciate what she sees before her as they break apart - Pearl's hair sticking up in places, lips red and slightly swollen from the attention Bismuth's given them. It's so adorable that Bismuth openly coos at her, causing Pearl to blush a brilliant blue.

"Stop it, you," Pearl mumbles, dazed smile plastered all over her face. Seeing her so open like this, so vulnerable, Bismuth feels the nerves set back in.

"I-- Was that alright? The kiss, I mean."

"Alright? It was _amazing,_ " says Pearl, as that dazed smile turns into a grin. "You've had practice."

Bismuth shakes her head. "Nuh-uh. That kiss was all you."

"Clearly." Pearl laughs at her own sarcasm, draping her arms around Bismuth's neck and hugging her close. "Thank you so much for today, Bismuth. I really... I really appreciate you being in my life."

Bismuth laughs at that, almost certain what that pause could mean but much too afraid to say it. She wraps her arms around Pearl in return, sniffing back the unshed tears that threaten to fall. "I love you too."

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback of any kind is appreciated <3 Bispearl is the ship I never knew I needed.


End file.
